Guest Post: Green Goo Goblin (Jas Bond #1) by Gretchen S.B. ~ #BookTour #Excerpt

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What inspired you to write this book?

My inspiration for this book is a little funny. I wanted to write a supernatural book about my husband and his job. My husband is a retail manager and our Rottweiler goes with him to work. The stories he comes home and tells me are hilarious and ridiculous and sometimes you think he’s making it up even though I know for a fact he’s not. So I wanted to have a very self-deprecating, version of my husband, a store owner that I could throw into a paranormal world and see what happened. Jas bond definitely moved away from that initial caricature of my husband once I was really writing the first book but my husband was definitely the inspiration for this story. When I read it to him he tells me that the Rottweiler Bailey is a much better representation of our Rottweiler then Jas is of him.

What can we expect from you in the future?

All the things! I’m just kidding, I do an author podcast titled Exceptionally Average Authors Explain it All, with an author friend of mine Stevie Ray Causey. In that podcast we talk about how I jump from project to project really easily and struggle with setting goals and sticking to them. But you’ll definitely see the second season of our podcast, we’re currently at the midseason break. I am also releasing the first four books of the Jas Bond series between now and the end of July. Right now I’m thinking there are eight books in the series total and I’m hoping to have all of those out by the end of the year. I am also hoping to have some other books out this year but I’m not sure what other titles there will be or what genre, it will all depend on what I can fit around Jas Bond’s schedule.

Do you have any “side stories” about the characters?

I do not have any publishable side stories about the characters right now. That could change later, but as of right now I don’t. I do however know things like how Jas started working with Sven, I have that whole scene played out in my head. Or why Jas broke up with his fiancée and the story behind that. But I don’t think any of those side stories will end up getting published, they might be in some small capacity in one of the main series, but as of right now no publishable side stories.

Can you tell us a little bit about the characters in this book?

Sure, there are a cast of characters in the Jas Bond world. There’s Jas who is a magic-less son of a witch who owns a magical antiques store. His mother owned it before him and his grandmother before her and they are both witches so running the store was a lot easier for them than it is him. He has a rambunctious young Rottweiler named Bailey who is very opinionated and what she wants and when she wants it. He has a best friend Blake who is a werewolf, paranormal police detective who Bailey likes more than Jas. There is also Sven who is a dwarf that works at the antique shop he works in the back fixing objects that come into the shop that are broken. Though his name is Sven he is actually Scottish and very old but we don’t know his exact age. There is also Violetta who is Jas’s ex-fiancé. She is a very powerful witch and a very free spirit, she travels a lot she’s very no-nonsense she and Jas are on very good terms and are still friends even though sometimes they bicker a little bit and there’s a little bit of stress between them from time to time.

What did you enjoy most about writing this book?

I enjoy writing Snark so anytime someone was snarky I enjoyed it. I enjoy writing Sven a lot because he wants no part of what’s happening in about three quarters of the stories and sometimes he just gets dragged in reluctantly and I really love that. I also really love writing Bailey the Rottweiler. I personally love my Rottweiler. She’s fantastic! She’s a great dog. I can’t say enough weirdly adoring things about her. So giving the Rottweiler in the story personality was a big thing for me and anytime Bailey is doing something that displays that personality I’m usually enjoying myself immensely writing that personality into the book.

Tell us about your main characters- what makes them tick?

The main character in this book Jas Bond owns a magical antiques store. There’s all kinds of magical objects in it and it’s the business his mother owned and his grandmother before that. He was basically raised to take over the store. So he is doing what’s basically expected of him even though he himself does not possess any magical abilities like his mother and grandmother do. What makes him tick as he is just trying to live his life as best he can while being supernatural world adjacent. He doesn’t have a lot of ambition to do anything else. He’s good at his job. He has a comfortable life and that is enough for him. He just wants to maintain his current level of lifestyle and what happens over the course of the stories ends up making that increasingly difficult.

How did you come up with the title of your first novel?

The title of my first novel is Lady of the Dead it’s the first book in my Night World Series which are paranormal romances. I came up with the title because I knew I wanted a title that either showed off the main male character or the main female character. Gwen, the female lead in the book her title in the supernatural world is lady of the dead so I just decided to make that the title. Wasn’t a lot of thought behind it I’m not really good at coming up with titles, minus the Jas Bond series titles those have been a lot of fun to create.

If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?

You know, I don’t think I would. I am really happy with the way the Jas Bond series is going. With some of my older series there are things that I would definitely change but with Jas’ books I have loved them so much I can’t see changing anything about them. That might be different a year or two from now when I go back and look at them but as of right now, I am very happy with them they’re really fun and snarky it’s been a blast to write.

If you could spend time with a character from your book whom would it be? And what would you do during that day?

I would want to spend the day with either Bailey the Rottweiler or Sven the dwarf that fixes things up in the back of the shop. I have my own Rottweiler so spending the day with Bailey probably wouldn’t be that different than my days normally are. But I think Sven is a real character and has a lot of back story and a lot more to him, only some of which I know, and I know for a fact that he would hate spending the day with me. He is very much a loner but just listening to him talk and maybe making food would be all I would want. Nothing extravagant, we wouldn’t be going to a theme park or anything like that but I would definitely want to find the treasure trove of hidden secrets he has in that brain of his.

Are your characters based off real people or did they all come entirely from your imagination?

I’m pretty 50-50 on this in general. I have books where one or two characters will be based on certain aspects of people’s personalities so that I have something real world rooted in those characters. In my Anthony Holllownton series I give cameos to a lot of the people I know. Cameos that only they or people close to them are going to recognize as their reading it. It’ll be like they have a teaching degree and the character based on them is working at a daycare. The personalities of those cameos are not like the individual people. It’s usually just the features look like the individual character and their something similar about them they’re not straight versions of those people. Jas Bond was originally based on my husband, my husband works in retail and brings our dog with him to the shop. Our dog gets into shenanigans sometimes at work. That was all based on reality but as I was writing Jas as a character he became less and less like my husband over time. I also have books like the Night World Series or Berman’s Wolves where the characters are not based on anyone.

Do your characters seem to hijack the story or do you feel like you have the reigns of the story?

Yes! I have select characters that will hijack the story if they’re in it. Most of the time I have full control and I’ll get complaints from characters about what’s happening in the story or they’ll pout and the story won’t move forward the way it needs. But I do have a handful of characters, most of them are in my Night World paranormal romance series, that will hijack a story if they don’t like where it’s going and then I feel like I’m just writing an incident report instead of creating a story.

Have you written any other books that are not published?

Dozens, I have many stories on my laptop that are not published. Most of which are nowhere near completion or even halfway done. Before my laptop was stolen in 2013 I had about 30 or 40 on my laptop. I wasn’t able to find most of those stories in my files once I got a new computer. But since then I have created more and they are just sitting in my stories file while the ideas and plots percolate and I work on current projects. Some of them might never see the light of day and others might be published 10 years from now.

Fun Facts/Behind the Scenes/Did You Know?’-type tidbits about the author, the book or the writing process of the book.

I dictate my books. I am a relatively slow typer, so when I type my books I get about 1200 to 1500 words per hour. After 2 ½ years of dictating I was able to get to 3500 words an hour. I’m now slowly heading towards the 4000 words an hour mark which is very exciting. Dictation definitely has a very large learning curve and you have to get into a different mindset to be able to do it. But now that I do I can’t imagine going back to typing the entire book. What’s interesting is that the way I write in the language I use is very different when I’m dictating versus when I’m typing. My typing languages much more flowery and less matter of fact. There’s a lot more fluff in the books when I’m typing versus dictating. What’s fun about this is that when I’m dictating I am flailing my arms all over the place which I’m told looks very comical when my husband walks by. I also can pace back and forth, lay on the floor, or twirl in my chair.


Green Goo Goblin

Jas Bond Book 1
by Gretchen S.B.
Genre: Urban Fantasy

My life is one giant cycle of group deniability…

As a magic-less son of a witch owning a store full magical objects isn’t easy. But with my unhelpful rottweiler Bailey and a handful of supernatural staff, we’ve sold everything from elfin wedding china to a life-size dwarven statue we don’t like to talk about. Everything is going smoothly until a goblin customer starts coughing up a disgusting green goo. Little did I know as I watch that liquid spew from his mouth that his presence and that goo was going to send my life into a tailspin, leaving me in the crosshairs of a murder.

Check out the goblin and the goo he produces in Green Goo Goblin.

Buy Links: Amazon – Books2Read


The goblin nods and grunts once before pivoting and getting two steps toward the door. He begins hacking and coughing.

I take a large step back, toward where Bailey lies against the wall.

The hacking becomes so severe even Bailey stands up and trots around the opening in the counter so she can stare at the goblin. She gives three quick barks which sets my adrenaline on fire.

“Sir, are you okay?” I ask cautiously but I know I can’t help him.

One of the many reasons I adopted Bailey is she can sense active magic. If someone does a spell in her vicinity, she knows about it. If she gives those three quick barks, it means whatever is being done to the goblin is magic and not allergies.

The goblin doubles over, hacking harder. Soon, a thick green foam spews from his mouth with the force of each cough.

“Dammit,” I mutter as I grab the walkie-talkie from under the counter and click it on. “Sven, I really need you out here. Something’s wrong with a customer.”

The line crackles. “I don’t want to be involved,” answers Sven’s absurdly deep brogue over the walkie-talkie.

“Sven, seriously,” I hiss into the walkie-talkie.

There is a huff. “Fine.”

“Sir, are you okay? I’m calling the paramedics. Our type of paramedics,” I qualify so he knows I am not calling human EMTs. Because who-knows-what would hit the fan if that happens.

I throw down the walkie-talkie and wrench my cell phone out of my back pocket before hitting the supernatural hotline I have on speed dial in my phone.

“Supernatural helpline, what is your emergency?”

“This is Jas Bond at the Fix ‘n’ Find. I have a goblin here coughing so hard that instead of coughing up a lung, it’s a foamy green liquid. I don’t know enough about goblin anatomy to know how bad that is.” I try to keep my voice calm, but unease and panic are setting in. And I hope whatever it is isn’t contagious.

“Thank you for that information, sir. I am dispatching two emergency personnel now. They should be there within the next fifteen minutes. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

I hate calling the supernatural hotline; for whatever reason supernatural beings live so long the idea of emergencies doesn’t seem to register with them.

“Not unless you can help this guy through the phone,” I respond frustratedly.

“All right then, have a good day,” she answers chipperly before hanging up.

Disgusted, I put my phone down on the counter and begin rummaging through one of the top drawers behind the desk. I have a collection of health pendants somewhere in one of the drawers. My ex-fiancée gave me a handful of them before we broke up.

“Aha!” I exclaim as my hand clasps around one of the ruby red and gold pendants. I slam the door shut and run around the counter, catching myself before I trip over Bailey who decides to move between my legs mid-step.

“Take this.” The man has now coughed up so much bubbling green foam it can fill the small trashcan I keep behind the counter.

The man seems too distracted to hear me, so I reach across the puddle and pry open his free hand, ignoring the scratch I get across my palm from his overly sharp nails and smash the pendant into his hand, re-curling his fingers around it. I watch as the amulet glows bright, getting brighter the longer he holds it.

“Well, this can’t be good,” Sven comments from where he now stands next to me.

I didn’t hear him coming from across the shop, so I jump when he speaks.

After several seconds, the goblin’s coughing slows and the liquid stops coming out of his mouth, for which I am extremely grateful for, because now that I am standing here, the smell is getting to me. It is something between wet dog and microwaved fish.

“Do you know what would do that?” I murmur to Sven.

Sven shakes his head as he strokes his long beard, making the two beads hanging in it clack when they hit each other. “No. But my knowledge of magic isn’t great. At least not this type of magic.”

We both stare at the goblin as his coughing slowly turns more toward wheezing. I look away from him long enough to glance at Bailey, still standing, peering around the counter. The expression on her face and the fact her hackles are still up concerns me. Normally once magic subsides, she goes back about her business. The fact she is still watching sets off warning bells in my head. Not to mention the smell is getting stronger and I have no idea what the best way to clean whatever it is up. I don’t even want to think about how long it is going to take to clear the smell from the shop.


Gretchen spawned in the Puget Sound region. After some wandering she returned there and now lives with her husband and the daintiest Rottweiler on the planet. When not drowning herself in coffee, as is custom in the Greater Seattle Area, Gretchen can be found at her day job or sitting at her desk in the home office, flailing her arms as she dictates to her computer.

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I'm an outdoor sun loving reader living near San Fransisco. I’m a mother, wife, animal & book lover. I'm the owner, reviewer & mind behind Angel’s Guilty Pleasures. My favorite animals are horses & dogs. As for reading I love all things paranormal & urban fantasy & my favorite shifters are dragons.

12 comments on “Guest Post: Green Goo Goblin (Jas Bond #1) by Gretchen S.B. ~ #BookTour #Excerpt

  1. Sounds like an awesome series.

  2. This sounds like a fun read! I also really like the title.

  3. What a fascinating book! Great cover and excerpt. I’d love to read more.

  4. The cover sets the tone for the book! I like the colors and the design.

  5. nice interview

  6. this book looks intriguing

  7. I love snark, especially from paranormal characters in UF.

  8. Thank you for hosting today!

  9. Sounds like an entertaining read. Love the cover.

    • Thank you, I love the cover too! It turned out so well. I am so excited that I could finally get a cover with a dog on it. 🙂

  10. Sounds like a good book. I like the cover.

    • Thank you! I am so happy with how the cover turned out.